Are Your DEI Efforts Failing? Try Relational DEI for Real Results!

In our ever-changing workplace landscape, there is a wide variety of diversity, equity, and inclusion efforts. That is really cool in some ways and in others, it is concerning. I’ve been trying to wrap my brain around how much the industry has grown in the last three years. There seemed to be a nationwide call to action during the summer of 2020. George Floyd’s murder was (and is) often referenced as a catalyst for change in the professional world. Shoot- I know things were rapidly changing for Living Unapologetically for that very reason. 

From Nationwide Action to Current Challenges

Businesses were pouring resources into places that were neglected or nonexistent for years. Promotions were given, new positions were created and filled, and the money for training, coaching, and consulting was astronomical. People were doing many things waiting for a desired outcome… but they didn’t quite get there. 

Just as quickly as DEI rose, it’s now in a fall. Reports about cutbacks and resignations of high-level execs are on the news. Research is revealing the ineffectiveness of most approaches businesses tried. Employees are still in unsafe work environments. Y’all- it is not going well. There is no one thing to point to as the culprit here. There are a lot of factors at play. And maybe one day I’ll write another article about the nuances. 

What I want to do is invite a conversation about the approach the industry has become familiar with… the things businesses have come to regard as the standard. It is the standard that is feeding the increase in money spent on training, coaching, and consulting that does not translate to change. 

Limitations of Traditional DEI Strategies

For too long, traditional DEI strategies have relied on rigid checklists and cookie-cutter solutions. Many leaders and consultants often resort to prescribing concrete steps without addressing the core issues that underlie the problems. Training and coaching topics follow a similar path which has companies looking in the same direction for change, leading to the same inevitable place. 

What people are missing is how to learn their specific needs and build their company-wide capacity to engage in a culture change. They aren't learning how to navigate the relational aspect of the work. No matter what strategy is implemented, people will be working with people. And people have vastly different cultures, identities, life experiences, and worldviews that shape how they interact with each other. To implement those strategies, people have to work with people. That is where businesses fall flat. That is the missing piece.  

Moving Beyond Learning WHAT To Do

There is a lot of teaching people WHAT to do differently, with little to no support with HOW to navigate the individual and organizational journey. This compliance-driven approach may yield short-term results but often fails to instill real behavioral and systems change. It’s like teaching people the things they need to do to care about DEI, instead of teaching people how to attune to themselves and others to create and keep a work environment that’s responsive to the unique people they work with. Thus, creating a culture that embodies DEI.

One tells people what to do. The other shows people how to do it. 

One gives information and instructions. The other ignites learning by doing. 

One provides short-term fixes. The other creates long-term culture change.

Teaching HOW to Create Lasting Change

I would like to introduce you to the practice Living Unapologetically developed as our way to empower people and organizations to embrace discomfort and believe in their ability to change systems and behaviors at the root of inequity. 

Relational DEI

An approach that combines thinking, feeling, and doing to create long-term change to achieve an organization’s unified vision for DEI. Relational DEI goes beyond telling people what they should do differently and emphasizes how the process of behavior change happens through feeling and in the context of interpersonal relationships. The approach uses experiential methods, so people can develop a shared understanding of their needs and integrate what they learn through feeling and practice. Learning through feeling provides concrete guidance, instills more confidence in our ability to apply what we learn, and translates to integration and change.

Relational DEI acknowledges that building healthy organizations is not just about policies and procedures; it's about forming meaningful connections, valuing emotions, and fostering a culture of belonging. We often refer to it as a transformational journey that transcends words on paper. Rather than dictating what needs to change, we focus on how change happens – through the heart and in the context of interpersonal connections. 

Understanding Relational DEI in Practice

Our approach goes beyond traditional methods and centers interpersonal relationships and learning-by-doing, so everyone in your organization, no matter their title or position, can understand and contribute to making behaviors and systems more equitable.

You might be thinking, this sounds all well and good, but what does this look like in a learning environment? The best way to describe it is that we create spaces for exploration and practice in every service we provide. From experiential training to strategic planning sessions. We are uniquely equipped to help you engage in real-time moments, unpack dynamics in self and others, and find your way through discomfort and fear. We normalize the process of learning to navigate the complexities of workplace interactions. 

I talked about this with one of our consultants, Kendrick Dial in a recent episode of the Living Out Loud Discussion Series- How we tune into what participants are experiencing and adjust the learning experience to meet that specific need. In the case of the example on the podcast, it was a practice-based session on saying words out loud. Saying words that spark fear in most people, yet they are essential to the DEI journey. It was super uncomfortable for people but their skills were strengthened that day which translated to action in future conversations. 

There’s a place in the world for traditional DEI strategies. There are things we can improve to fit particular needs. If you are spinning your wheels and spending money on DEI efforts that scratch the surface, I encourage you to consider an alternative approach. One that’s experiential and provides practical opportunities for individuals to think, feel, and learn. 

Relational DEI is the much-needed paradigm shift that will propel your organization toward genuine transformation and lasting impact. By prioritizing relationships, experiences, and empathy, we create a workplace where everyone feels valued, empowered, and motivated to bring their best selves to work. It's time to embrace the power of connection and embark on a journey toward building healthy, inclusive, and thriving organizations. 

What stands out to you about Relational DEI? 

Contact us if you’re ready to try a new approach to DEI in your organization.

Charmaine is a Relational DEI expert who sits at the intersection of thinking, feeling, and doing. She is an author, facilitator, skill builder, safe-space holder, family member, partner, and friend. And in all of those, her DEI lens is in constant use. Charmaine uses a social justice lens to help clients explore their individual and organizational needs amidst the backdrop of power, privilege, and oppression. You can access her book (Bias-Conscious Leadership), guided meditations, free tips sheets & guides, and blog posts on her website, www.livingunapologetically.com.