The Mind-Body Connection: Learning, Unlearning, and Relearning
Let's dive right in with a truth that can change your life. Personal growth, a journey most of us undertake at some point, is not just about acquiring new knowledge. It goes much deeper, involving the unlearning of old beliefs, adopting new perspectives, and having long-held viewpoints challenged in the name of development. And on top of that, our emotions play a major role in this process. Understanding and acknowledging these emotions can serve as the catalyst for profound change, both personally and professionally.
The perspective I’m writing from in this article was inspired by a recent conversation I had with a close friend, Krystal Williams Payne, on the Living Out Loud Discussion Series. She’s a yoga therapist and sound healer who's been on this journey herself and now guides others on their path. In the episode, she openly shared her personal experiences with body image, wellness, and diet culture, and how these experiences shaped her process of learning, unlearning, and relearning. Krystal's story is one of courage, resilience, and transformation, with a bunch of humor — a story that's bound to resonate with so many people. Read on for a really cool experience!
Three Stages of Learning
Diving deep into the ocean of self-improvement and transformative processes often means embarking on a journey of learning, unlearning, and relearning. This journey involves a great deal of exploration and may seem ambiguous to many, but being cognizant of its different phases can make the voyage smoother.
You begin by learning, absorbing new ideas and perspectives like a sponge. Seeing the world through different lenses, broadening your horizons, and breaking free from the confines of fixed thought patterns.
As this new knowledge seeps into your consciousness, you enter the stage of unlearning, a process that demands critical introspection and courage as you wipe away embedded beliefs and perceptions to make way for new insights. This usually means you’re having to undo what you thought was true at some point and replace it with what you now know is accurate.
The cycle converges in the relearning phase where you reconcile the disparity between your viewpoints (even if they’re outdated) and the concepts you've learned that challenge your current beliefs. It's like reweaving the tapestry of comprehension and understanding with new threads of wisdom. Relearning usually doesn’t make for a smooth process. It usually involves a struggle between what we want to hold onto, even when presented with information that tells us what we are holding onto isn’t accurate or helpful.
The journey can feel like a maze at times, with numerous paths leading us astray. However, once we understand and appreciate the learning process in its entirety, it starts guiding us like a compass, leading us towards the center of self-awareness and compassion. Understanding the process of learning, unlearning, and relearning is significant, as it challenges us to step out of our comfort zones and equips us with flexibility and adaptability in thoughts and actions.
We Must Embrace the Full Body Experience in Learning
The process of growth often feels like a jigsaw puzzle, yet, as we navigate through it, we realize that no piece is independent of the other. A significant part of this journey involves the full body experience. This means being fully present in your body, attentive to physical signs and manifestation of emotions. This approach acknowledges the interplay between mind and body, implying that both should be addressed for true awareness and behavior change to occur.
I love the way Krystal referred to this as what people experience “from the neck up” and “from the neck down.” Meaning our minds and thoughts are what we experience from the neck up. And our body’s responses and emotions are what we hold from the neck down. Her visual invited me to share my own journey, when I discovered that my primary response was often driven by what was happening within my body. For example, in moments where I felt uncomfortable emotions, my physical reaction was to instinctively flee or react from a place of fear or anger, despite knowing that these reactions weren't reflective of the situation at hand. It wasn’t until later in life that I learned how to stay present. I was able to feel and understand these reactions instead of avoiding them, then make conscious choices and responses. This drastically changed how I was showing up at work and the types of working relationships I had.
Krystal noted in her own story that meeting these intense feelings with kindness and compassion, rather than harshness or urgency, was a major turning point for her. This approach is not just vital for personal transformation; it holds the key to achieving professional growth too. Understanding how our emotions and physical reactions influence our actions can help in fine-tuning the way we interact with others, be it colleagues or clients. It can also aid in identifying the unchecked biases that we might carry to our workplaces, inadvertently affecting our professional relationships and decisions. So, while the journey of relearning and unlearning might be challenging, and in Krystal's words, involve the emotional rigor of stepping into the ring, grasping the art of a full body experience in learning is irreplaceably beneficial. It's more than just personal growth; it's about embracing change, reclaiming control of responses, and shaping a healthier, more empathetic, and inclusive society.
Trust and Vulnerability are Key to Personal Growth
Krystal Williams-Payne (She/Her/Hers), Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Yoga instructor and sound healer She graduated with a Bachelor’s degree in Criminal Justice from an HBCU, Prairie View A&M, as a student athlete.
Krystal then went on to earn her Masters of Art degree in Counseling in Psychology with an emphasis in marriage and family therapy from National University, where she completed most of her clinical training with foster youth, women of color, LGBT+, and other marginalized communities.
Krystal’s mission is to serve BIPOC communities towards body compassion, healing their relationship with food and finding the path to their authentic self.
Contact Krystal on Youtube @yogabykrystal & Tiktok @krystaltheyogatherapist
A vital element that often gets overlooked is the relationship between trust and vulnerability. By courageously going into spaces with vulnerability, people open doors to deep, meaningful development. This reinforces the essence of a journey marked by self-discovery, openness, and the fluid progression of learning, unlearning, and relearning. But this path is not solitary. A supportive environment characterized by mutual trust plays a significant role. Trust sets the stage for people to feel secure and safe enough to shed their protective layers, confront their fears, and navigate the rough terrains of their emotional landscapes.
Krystal’s story offers enlightening insights into how trust and vulnerability interweave into the personal growth narrative. As she reflected on her experiences, it became clear that her initial discomfort with navigating emotional spaces had inhibited her in ways that made it hard to have empathy for herself and got in the way of her connection with loved ones. This realization was her tipping point. By trusting herself enough to face and understand her emotions, Krystal ushered in a whole new level of being in “the ring” where she found strength by going through it.
So why does the interplay of trust and vulnerability matter? Life, as we know, is intricate and complex. No two individuals share the same experiences, and hence, growth is a unique, personalized journey. However, it's important to recognize common threads that could guide us along this path. Trust and vulnerability, in this respect, provide a framework for positive and sustainable development. By understanding these elements, we can consciously incorporate them into our daily lives and stay connected to our emotions, behaviors, fears, and desires.
Personal Growth is a Continuous Process, Not a Destination
Navigating the journey of development is an ongoing process. It's not a set destination that we arrive at, but a constant evolution requiring understanding and embracing stages of learning, unlearning, and relearning. It's about questioning entrenched beliefs, understanding new perspectives, and acknowledging how these shifts influence our actions and reactions. Life constantly presents us with opportunities to gain knowledge and shift our actions. It's an effortful process, filled with discoveries, confrontations, and acceptance. It can feel like we are on top of the world sometimes. Then there will inevitably be challenges and setbacks along the way.
When re-evaluating deeply ingrained beliefs, Krystal shared her personal experience with diet culture and how her assumptions about wellness had to be dismantled and rebuilt. By recognizing societal influences, it encourages us to constantly examine our perspectives. Her poignant story about giving up her scale reflects that letting go of old constructs and stepping into new realizations can be incredibly emotional. I felt every part of the words she said aloud and I could tell it was a battle. The key takeaway here is that it can be overwhelming to grapple with growth. It’s not just about the intellectual grasp of concepts but wrestling in the ring is part of how we bring about heartfelt changes. This dynamic process serves as a motivator that can lead to a changing self-concept, better understanding of personal values, strengthening of relationships, and a renewed sense of purpose and direction in life.
Personal and professional development are different by definition but are best connected in practice. And when we add the layers of learning, unlearning, and relearning, it’s a complex experience that’s hard put into a box. Maybe that’s not the point though. The point is: the path of progression isn’t linear. It’s all over the place. It involves all aspects of our being, whether we like it or not. It’s relevant to who we are as professionals just as much as it shows up outside of work. It’s messy and that’s ok. This journey invites us to embrace a full-body experience in learning, understanding that change is felt as much physically as it is mentally and emotionally. It’s spiritual for many people too. It also highlights the importance of trust and vulnerability, reminding us that showing our authentic selves can lead to evolution and stronger relationships. Through self-awareness and emotional intelligence, we develop the ability to navigate our own feelings, creating a roadmap for personal success. But remember, the journey does not end. It's an ongoing process, a life-long commitment to bettering ourselves. And that personal change inevitably impacts the spaces we share and organizational culture.
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Charmaine is a Relational DEI expert who sits at the intersection of thinking, feeling, and doing. She is an author, facilitator, skill builder, safe-space holder, family member, partner, and friend. And in all of those, her DEI lens is in constant use. Charmaine uses a social justice lens to help clients explore their individual and organizational needs amidst the backdrop of power, privilege, and oppression. You can access her book (Bias-Conscious Leadership), guided meditations, free tips sheets & guides, and blog posts on her website, www.livingunapologetically.com.
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